i don’t remember much. not simply about the experience, but in general. often, my girlfriend or family will recall a funny stoy we had a couple years ago, and nine times out of ten i’ll have ask them to describe it to me. strange. it is one of my weakest attributes as a person, i would say. maybe that’s harsh. i dont know. i do feel i need to improve here, but i don’t know how. can memory be improved? like, drastically? i hope so.
    i do feel as if i am setting myself on the path of massive self improvement, which may not be possible. one step at a time though. baby steps. a little progress each day will cumulate. should i do memory exercises? i assume that these can help short term memory, but long term memory is where i struggle.
    i barely remember much about my childhood. apparently this is a part of dissociation. so maybe my problem isn’t memory, maybe i just don’t pay enough attention to what is going on around me on a daily basis. if you’re not paying attention, how can you remember?
    i do remember the who, what, where, when, and why of my experience. weird. and confusing. but how do i actively try to pay more attention? that seems like a strange mental task.

- Will

    note: “it's going to be two steps forward, one step back. It's going to be bumpy and unpredictable.” - Shaili Jain